About that time I went to prison....

Most of the time I'll be over here, where you can read about things I do & learn.
But really. I did go to prison. And it was amazing.

On Sunday I made my weekly pilgrimage to the downtown farmers market for greens and veg. Normally I stick to the farmer's stalls, but this time wandered into the food court - ya'll better not sleep on the international market in there! I saw a sign for Cinnasmiles. These sticky rolls would be my death by gluten nowadays, but I had to ask if she had some GF love on the table. No luck, however, she responded with an enthusiastic, "I remember you!!!" Annetta reminded me that she was one of my World Vision volunteers over a year ago at Musician's Corner... we discussed my leap of faith quitting my job, going to Rwanda, and becoming an LMT. She told me I inspired her to start her own business and follow her dream. I was trying to pick my jaw off the floor, not cry, and thank her for thanking me all at the same time. Not my smoothest moment, but Jon Acuff would be proud. 

Starting your own business and following your dream is not one leap of faith. It's several leaps. Sometimes you land on your feet, sometimes you land on your face. Sometimes you misjudge the distance and do that awkward really hard landing. Sometimes you win. After several months of landing on my face, having a moment like that with Annetta was a huge encouragement to me. If I won the lottery, I would still want to do bodywork, and would have the funding to get more training! I still love school... *nerd gong*

Share your stories! You never know who might need to hear about your struggles and victories.

And if anyone needs some bodywork and to generally feel better in their body, call me maybe?

MelanieJoyeLMT.com!

"God binds up his heart so closely with suffering people that he interprets any move against them as a move against him." - Tim Keller.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

In one week's time: the delights of closest friends' birthdays, the ache of grief with a dear friend's awful loss, a joyous wedding... to live in the tense arc between the two... to allow each one to be their own and not arrest the other. How?

Tim Keller, in a sermon on anxiety, talks about perspective and expectations. Taxi drivers in NYC ram into each other. Often. In the midwest, there are police, accident reports, phone calls, etc. But in NYC, the taxi drivers expect chaos. They are ready. They keep going.

My wise friend E.M. observed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Already in exile. Thrown into a furnace to be executed. God was right in there with them. Alongside them. Does life ever calm down, or is it one continuous bonfire? Isn't fire a method of purification?

The happy warmth of weddings & births, the searing pain of death... to suffer... to struggle… to know God's presence no matter our circumstance. My friend Audrey wrote the song below. It's a prayer I didn't know was on my lips until I heard her sing it.  When I taste Your goodness, I shall not want.

I Shall Not Want

by Audrey Assad | from the album Fortunate Fall

From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God

From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

And I shall not want, I shall not want
when I taste Your goodness I shall not want
when I taste Your goodness I shall not want

From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

toya and melanie bond.

you know i love toya when i'm allowing myself to be internetted like this.  she wrote this article for natural in nashville after we watched chris rock's documentary good hair - which i think e'rbody should see.  it's amazing. i learned a lot, laughed a lot, and bleached my heather locklear-ish roots into submission.

U.N.I.T.Y.- The Weekend My Friend Melanie and I Bonded Over Our Hair

I promise we did not plan the matching blue tops. I swear.

During my friend Melanie's and my 12 year friendship, we have talked about pretty much everything under the sun.  But until recently we rarely ever discussed our racial differences.  We just have so many things in common that discussing our differences just barely ever comes up.  Well a few months ago Melanie asked me if I would be interested in watching Chris Rock's documentary Good Hair together. "I just think it would be so fun to watch together." she said.  Having already seen the film, I chuckled at the thought of my possibly having to further break down certain things in the film regarding my culture for her. Then something dawned on me.

Melanie was interested in this movie because she was intrigued about black hair.  To say that I was less than intrigued about a white woman's hair would be an understatement. I'm just going to be honest here.  At the time, I felt like ever since I was a little girl I've been overloaded with knowledge about the European standards of beauty.  Unless I bought a magazine that was geared towards black women, chances are that every other magazine had articles that catered to enhancing the beauty of white women.  And really with all that I have had to do to my hair in over thirty years from weaves to braids to bi-level stacks and The Big Chop, I could  not fathom that the plight of the white woman to keep her hair in check could even compare.  And wasn't their hair pretty much all of the same anyway?  Does that sound a little close minded to you? Yeah me too. That's why I changed my mind and came up with an idea. "Why don't we watch the movie and do our hair together?" I said.  Saturday was coming up and with that being my Big Hair Day consisting of pre-pooing, washing, deep conditioning, etc,. I figured we could really get into what it took for us to individually maintain our hair. This was perfect timing as Melanie's own "Big Hair Day" was coming up because she had to touch up her roots with hair color. She loved the idea and we set a date.

I went to Melanie's house and we both went into the bathroom to start our respective routines while sharing about our hair textures and styling woes.

Me explaining the beast that is hair shrinkage

Melanie paying the price for beauty

When I reached the point where it was time for deep conditioning and her hair color went into processing, we went into the living room to watch the movie.

Movie time!

Melanie, who we all lovingly call The Wise Pixie, currently has a super cute and flattering pixie hair cut.  When I first met Melanie she had a really fly bob. Her hair was and still is platinum blonde (which I always forget is not her natural hair color because it fits her so well) and it had a layer of turquoise underneath. Fly!  She's never been too afraid to take risk with her hair. As our discussion moved into a more cultural direction,  I asked her if she ever felt pressure to be blonde because society holds blondes to such a high standard of beauty. I was pretty enlightened by her answer:

"I went super blonde after I lost my first job out of college and ended up moving to Pittsburgh by myself. I lived with an amazing family - her brother, a stylist, told me he wanted to try cutting my dark blonde, ashy, shoulder length hair into a pixie cut and bleaching it out. I didn't have anything to lose, I didnt know anyone, and I wanted a change! It was exciting and liberating and I loved it."

Ladies, doesn't that liberating hair cut sound familiar? Doesn't that sound like our monumental Big Chop?  We continued watching the film together and took breaks in between to discuss some things further. One thing that stood out to me was the discussion we had about keeping up with the lastest hairstyles. In the movie they talk about how expensive it is to buy and maintain weaves.  I shared with her that I did my Big Chop because I was tired of feeling like I had to keep up.  I just wanted to be myself.  What she said next was something I definitely chalk up to cultural differences:

"Have you been to a Bon Jovi concert recently? Have you noticed the women are sporting the same hairdo they did in the 80's - as they squeeze into today's version of the same ripped jeans and old shredded, tasseled tees of yesteryear? The hair has stayed the same since the first time they gave love a bad name. My wise friends Becky & Karen pointed out that women who tend to keep the same coiffure for decades do so because that dated hairdo is from a time when they were happiest in their lives."

Now grant it some women do these things at concerts for one night nostalgia but plenty of women do not.  I knew exactly the type of women she was referring to and a light bulb went off when she said it.  I then remembered that the haircut I had when I was my happiest was an MC Lyte bi-level haircut that I rocked while wearing some pin-striped Gitano jeans. I have never thought about going back to that hairstyle.  "Oooooh!" I said.  "Yeah that's definitely a cultural difference."  I thought about all of the makeover shows I've seen and how so many of the white women on there had been rocking the same hair style for about fifteen years. I would have never thought about Melanie's statement possibly being the reason why.  

As we continued to watch the film, Melanie turned to me and said "You know Michelle Obama and Hillary have not done this. It would do some good." We both hollered over that. "They should!  They should totally do their hair together in the White House!" I agreed. "More women should do this together. Each one teach one! Could you imagine the racial reconciliation that could come from this?"  While we both proudly sat on the couch feeling like racial reconciliation trailblazers, Melanie's roommate walked in and we explained our little experiment.  She came in and joined us on the couch during the part where Chris Rock was interviewing men in the barbershop about how they felt about women wearing weaves. "They know?!" Melanie's roommate asked in complete shock. "The men know?!"  Melanie and I both burst into laughter over her amazement. "Yup! They know." I concurred. After more laughs and a few more discussions, we headed back into the bathroom to blow dry our hair. 

"I have a dream that little black girls and little white girls will come together over their hair."- Author umm... unknown

I truly hope this story encourages others to not be afraid or defensive when it comes to discussing things like our hair.  Although we chuckled over the mental picture of Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton sitting in plastic caps next to each other, I believe I can also speak for Melanie when I say that we honestly wish that more women would do what we did. Let's face it; sometimes white women are afraid to ask black women questions about things like their hair and sometimes black women are tired of answering questions about it. At the end of the day, how are people not going to assume the wrong things about each other if they don't have dialogues and get the right information? As women with natural hair, some of our stories about our natural hair journeys are so empowering and what woman do you know could not use a little empowerment every once in a while?  I truly believe that not only can more dialogue dispel a lot of assumptions, but it can help us unite over our similarities and embrace our differences to the point where we can appreciate one another as women as we should.

i didn't like this birthday until...

i'd like to thank all my delightful friends for turning my 

"i'm gonna be 40" frown upside down this past weekend.

we bounced on trampolines like crazy people,

and ashley the amazing made me a giant gluten free strawberry cake!

and then the house was packed for a viewing of jurassic park.

glorious.

i've earned the number 36. i'm just getting started.

swagger. he has it.

real swagger.  michael caine.

i like-a the books.

girls like guys that read.  

accent optional, but rather helpful for some.

gift cards!

i can't handle traffic.  so instead of being angry in traffic, i stopped to run errands and ended up actually accomplishing something.  gift cards for my LMT business!  easiest and best Christmas present ever, for all your gift-giving needs.  getcha some.  (melaniejoyeLMT@gmail)

sometimes life is like lucy & the football.

this is one of my favorite seasons.  this is one of my most favorite images of fall.  charlie brown vs lucy & the football.  this is also how i felt last week...

i saw the football.

i visualized my approach.

i started to sprint.

i aimed!

i kicked! 

and i missed it.....

i like to plan.  i really enjoy it.  i had planned to go to a structural integration school in miami and be awesome at structural integration and save the world.  my plan was in place.  little things started to happen, but i was so focused on my goal that i missed the little whispers.... a warning note from a family member, the massive financial risk, my body was literally hurting from stress, and i was having terrible dreams.  i just really wanted this training.  i wasn't listening.  it was chaos.

the stress of the sprinting, aiming, and kicking was taking its toll - and nothing was moving forward.  at all.  then a few wise friends spoke, and i finally listened.  this is what they said...

"God does not speak in chaos.  He speaks in peace."

"follow the peace."

immediately after those words, my verse of the day was about how God does not speak in the storm, or in the wind, but in a still, small voice.  amazing that you can know.

the relief of letting go was almost more than i could handle.  i'm not afraid of a struggle.  struggles are good.  they make you stronger; the right answer is made clearer.  so i am not deterred from my goal.  i know there is a link to be made between counseling & bodywork.  i know i want continued training in structural integration, but it's going to be a different path than i thought.  and much better than anything i could hope or dream.

ROUND 2: the adventures continue!

remember that one time i quit my job and went to africa?  (and needed lots of sunblock?)
remember that one time i went thru massage therapy school and am now licensed?

well, round 2 of needing lots of sunblock is about to commence: after completing 2 sessions of advanced training in connective tissue massage, i've been made an offer i can't refuse to continue my bodywork education at the institute of structural integration in miami/north bay village, FL.

my goal is to find a way to integrate counseling and talk therapy with bodywork therapy for anyone who has survived trauma:  rape survivors, military personnel who have lost limbs, those struggling with PTSD... basically anyone who has the biggest disconnect in their mind-body relationship.  this training in structural integration is a large piece of my puzzle.  once this round is complete, i will be one of 8 therapists in nashville who understand and practice this modality.  our bodies are designed magnificently, and an amazing detail is our mind-body ability to shield us from trauma - we hold trauma down to a cellular level!  some of that cannot be released until that layer of tissue is released.  i believe there is a significant link between talk therapy and bodywork that would bridge the disconnect between mind and body - naturally and holistically.  any one else want to find out?

you can read more about connective tissue massage and structural integration here:
the institute of structural integration in miami

so remember that one time i asked for help to go to africa?  here's round 2.  i drained my savings account going to school the first time around, and building my business here in nashville has been a slow process - as i expected.  this opportunity with training in miami was dropped into my lap, exactly how most of the best things in my life come about.  i'm going to keep this succinct and ask for specific things:
1.  i need prayer.
2.  i'm having a garage sale 10/22 to raise some money - want to donate your fall purge?
3.  i need someone to sublet my room in nashville from jan - may with my awesome roommate.
4.  i would like a house sitting gig in the miami/north bay village area from jan - may, or a possible extra room in someone's home, or any safe housing option.
5.  i would like to bring my little dog with me.
6.  i need money.  cost of living/rent/etc plus school will run around $12,000+.
7.  i need a part time job while i'm there.

i almost choked writing that, but i know and have seen that with God, all things are possible.

any thoughts, ideas, contacts, prayers - all are appreciated.
donations will be happily accepted thru paypal or venmo.

and yes, i will have sunblock in miami.  and a parasol.

capital LMT!

me.  licensed.  officially.  yessssss....

sunblock, episode 3. a 2-fer

this is a pretty great lotion, if you're prepared for how fluid it is.  i was not.  and half my sample runneth over onto my bathroom floor.  3 oz for $34 is beyond my price range.  shisheido ultimate sun protection lotion is quite lovely for your moisturizing and sunblockey needs.  and spf 60 is as high as you can go without getting screwed on prices above the magic number of spf 60.  if you're a fan of this brand, you won't be disappointed.








i'm a big fan of this stuff.  nice, soft, matte finish - but the low spf 15 is a deal breaker for this girl.  plus $42 for less than 2 ounces really hurts my feelings.  if this was spf 45, i would consider, but aveeno's spf 30 is doing me real fine at the moment for $10.
















i really super bad want to find a natural sunblock in the spf 45 range, but i have yet to find non sticky, non stinky coverage that isn't as good as the old faithful... this neutrogena is my most favoritest.  $9 for 5 oz!  i'd also like to try the aveeno version of this in the same price range.

i have a logo!!!! (now i need a license.)

as i tap dance around my house impatiently "waiting" for notification of my licensing approval, i'm trying to create forms, signup sheets, and line up some work.  i also needed business cards, thank you notes, and the little teensy details that make a business.  oh, and a little brand recognition might help.... therefore, i enlisted the services of my friend James at LaCroix Design.  when your friends help you out with their professional and creative services - it's such a humbling gift.  i was blown away by James' enthusiasm to make me a logo.  let's be honest, i cried when i got to my car after seeing his work.  not because i am a melty wuss, but because he truly cared about what i wanted to do.  plus, it's always FUN to work with your friends.  i am continually stunned at the talent that surrounds me here in nashville.


i will now brag on James.  we go back a few years, but both ditched the music business and sort of lost touch.  when i contacted him needing help with my new logo & identity, he jumped.  i was thrilled, especially after nosing thru his site!  (his work speaks for itself - i would preach on, but you can see i don't need to.)  


it's a bizarre process, this branding thing.  unlimited options overwhelm me.  i baby-stepped it from there.  i found a tablecloth with the colors and texture i liked.  this tablecloth is now a drape in my home studio.  use what you like, i say.  i knew i wanted the color pallet from the tablecloth with the imagery of leaves.  i learned about leaves and essential oils in my aromatherapy class and was blown away by their healing properties.  i searched out images of these healers... eucalyptus, comfrey, olive, arnica, barberry.  i emailed him some zip files of the color pallet, the tablecloth, and leaves.  "here are things i like.  i want it to be simple and classy."  i'd like to be an idea person, and sometimes i am, but for the most part i am a planner, a finisher, a completer, a fixer.  logos are out of my creative strengths.  and i tell myself that's ok.


we then met up a week later.  he showed me a few ideas, but i knew the first one was what i wanted.  you can see his work on my logo here.  the 2nd attachment was the first one he showed me - and i thought to myself, "self, that one would be perfect if it was in a square."  i loved that it looked like a seal or stamp.  OMG I CAN MAKE A STAMP AND STAMP THINGS.... (i love and delight in the little things) and he even made me a pattern!  we chose pantone colors, a business card layout, etc.  


he loves the mathematics of design.  i love the elements of line & repetition.  he either read my mind, or intuitively knew what i needed even if i couldn't verbalize it.  even the leaf is based on one of my favorites, the eucalyptus, which has wonderful healing properties.


and so cheers to you, my friend, James LaCroix.  and dear internet universe, hire this fella.  you will be thrilled you did.  

quitter!

so my beloved friends over at BGLU have decided to read Jon Acuff's book, Quitter, and chronicle their journey.  since i already quit my money job to go to africa, came home and wondered how i was going to make a living, and then went back to school to become an LMT, i can say with a smile that i am already a quitter.  but i want to read it anyhoo, because i love a good dose of encouragement.  especially as i start my own little business.  read along with Tia & Toya - they are hard at work to whip their side hustle into their full on dream job.  and i may put in my 2 cents.  


ok, let's be honest.  i will totally put in my 2 cents.


i hope parents don't hate me, because i think everyone should quit their job to go to africa and then sit around wondering what it is they really want to do... how they really want to invest their lives...  to be in a spot where they must figure out what their mission(s?) really are - in their very guts and not just what someone tells them.  


total random side note:  the best roadie shirt i ever saw in my former touring life?  "rehab is for quitters."  it still makes me chuckle.

countdown!

i am THREE days away from completing a 600 hour training program to be a licensed massage therapist.  it was an inkling way back in 1993.  now it's a real thing.  i can't wait to work.


the goal:  to have several steady clients, allowing me to charge a lesser rate so i can help those who couldn't normally afford a massage but desperately need stress relief.  i want to work with military families, rape survivors and those who suffer from PTSD.  opportunities keep popping up out of the proverbial blue.


my favorite comment from my clinic hours last night:
first a muffled grunt, then, "i bet you could rip a phone book in half."


18 years in the making and it's 3 days away.

beyond organic

i heard about this from dr. josh axe at exodus health center!  i use garden of life supplements - you can find them at the best price at vitacost.com.
 
here's the article from dr. axe... beyond organic.


click here to register with me! 

sunblock testing, episode 2.

today's sample is Peter Thomas Roth Max All Day Moisture Defense Lotion.  (writing that, i felt like i was back at ol' G and their incredibly long product names...)  

bonus points:

+ non-greasy moisture!

+ smooth and non-irritating!

+ anti-aging!  (ticked off i must start heeding this crap)

+ has vitamins and what not!

+ i kinda like it - have been sporting it for two days and no irritation.

downfall:

- $29.99.  which really isn't that bad - hurray for amazon prices!  it's $42 on Sephora.  i'm currently paying - $10ish for Aveeno's Active Naturals Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer SPF 30 - again with the long names)

- contains several chemicals like avobenzone & octinoxate that have been called into the principal's office.

so now i have to go look at all my sunblocks and figure out which one will kill me...  juuust kidding.  i will, however, do some homework on more natural or organic sunblocks to see if my old favorites need to be rejected.  and if those that claim they are natural are legit or full of .... really hard for me to not rhyme it..... hitpostnow

sunblock testing, episode 1.

have decided to review sunblocks and SPFs. fell for some shiny packaging and a freebie at Sephora because i'm always on the hunt for newer, better, less chemically ways to not fry like an egg. tested these each on my semi daily trek with violet the dog. she taste-tested this one and seemed pleased.

today's sample is Dr. T's Supergoop Sunscreen Swipe, SPF 30.

why do you need a sunscreen towelette? dunno.

feels like:

.... a nice lotion when you smooth it on.

.... you dipped your hands in flour about 30 minutes later.

bonus points for the following:

Smells clean - not like a coconut or a beach or a fruit.

paraben and fragrance free, good for my sensitive epithelials.

no animal testing.

packaging: *because 1st impressions and fonts are important, people!

this is pretty, simple, straighforward & yellow. pleasant.

demerits for the following:

not even close to sweat proof.

why, towelette, why?

lots of leftover lotion in the packet. boo and fail.

cost - $34 plus shipping for 21 wee towelettes. @#$!?

are you fresh out of your mind? that's nigh to $1.34 per wee towelette. foolish.

i pity the fool that buys Dr. T's Supergoop.

P90Lent

about two weeks ago there was a buzz question - what are you giving up for lent?

as a relatively newb anglican, i'm still stretching into the true, sacred meaning of lent. two years ago i started taking on a something or other, instead of giving up a something or other. giving up chocolate or caffeine doesn't really mean anything to me, and i'm pretty sure God doesn't want me to torture myself.... so this year i decided to take on P90X. healthy shmealthy. taking care of the ol' temple. plus, my pants don't fit as i think they ought. for me, it's an offering of one hour and 30 minutes of my day. working + school + study = this is a big chunk o' time & determination.

the other day my friend JH was over and he asked me what i was giving up for lent. instead of blathering on about it, i had to think. "to keep in simple? self loathing." he responded with a welcome burst of laughter.

on a much holier & less sarcastic note, i offer you this for your Lenten mediations:

“For Lent, 1966”

By Madeleine L’Engle

It is my Lent to break my Lent,

To eat when I would fast,

To know when slender strength is spent,

Take shelter from the blast

When I would run with wind and rain,

To sleep when I would watch.

It is my Lent to smile at pain

But not ignore its touch.

It is my Lent to listen well

When I would be alone,

To talk when I would rather dwell

In silence, turn from none

Who call on me, to try to see

That what is truly meant

Is not my choice. If Christ’s I’d be

It’s thus I’ll keep my Lent.

LMT journey, part 2. Takin' care of biz-ness.

Website 1, website 2, twitter handle, basic business philosophy, colors, logo, space, business license, massage license, zoning...... What in the world am i doing? The Great Name Game was fought and won: Studio Massage played along with music city, my wee in-home studio, and it was simple. I duked it out with a few geniuses about securing my .com address, but some guy in Madrid has been sitting on it since 2003. So I scooped up the .biz, my own name, and the closest twitter handle I could secure:

1. StudioMassage.biz

2. MelanieJoyeLMT.com

3. @StudioLMT

Luckily, I work at a great web design company, have a great boss, smart co-workers, and get great how-to advice. Wondering if I can get an iPad and do everything paperless. That would be a great challenge and oh, how very green of me.

I suppose:

1. .com is best, .biz works the same way, with a bit more effort of promoting my BIZ-ness so people don't default to .com. I will not fall prey to godaddy.com's fear tactics!

2. because it's my name.

3. simple, short, and sweet.

Apparently I need to do MORE research about zoning, certificates, licensing, LLCs, sole proprietorships, incorporations… lots of hoops, so little time.