Nov 30, 2010

roommate adventures from days gone by: the nashville edition.

also regarding roommates:

i forgot to mention when christie and melissa and i lived together in a scary house with the mouse. the policeman saying, "girls, do you know where you live?!" with great concern was indicative of the neighborhood….

the mouse, episode 1. melissa bought some healthy snacks to take on the road, and had put them on a shelf in the basement. not long afterwards, we found that a mouse had literally eaten its way thru the ENTIRE bag (a big ol' paper grocery bag) and into each box. we hunted for a fat mouse for a while but gave up.

the mouse, episode 2. i was at work and got a hysterical call from christie and could only decipher "mouse" and "washing machine." after resuscitating her over the phone (while completely failing to hide the fact that i was laughing) i hunted for a fat, floating mouse.

arrived home and peeked into the washer to see this pathetic little mouse standing on tip-toes to keep his head above water. scooped him out with a measuring cup and deposited him onto a washcloth - thought i would let him dry before depositing him back into the wild with his critter brethren. the little fella just lay in my hand (on the washcloth, you germophobes) and was shivering, so i tried to dry him off. the minute he tried to sit up, i scrambled outside and put him on the ground. he promptly lay back down and i considered the state of suckerhood i was in. i sat there with him for a bit until he stumbled over and sat on the top of my pink chucks. we stared at one another for a moment and then he scampered off towards where i saw a guy freebasing something in the back alley.

did i really try to dry off a mouse with a washcloth?

the lizard. this is when i was a bad roommate. christie discovered a lizard in her room and alerted me to the crisis. she may or may not have sprinted into the living room and perched atop the couch. i caught it without much incident in a ziplock tub. then i may or may not have chased her around the house with it….

the bird(s). once upon a time there was a birdie i named lloyd dobbler. he was a lovebird with emotional baggage. didn't play well with others. we tried for over a year to make it work, but he was unwilling. he went to be with another girl who was ok with his issues. i hope he's made friends. once upon another time(s) melissa came home with a "can we keep him?" gorgeous red canary. he became jim. jim la fleur for her, jim halpert for me. he sounded like an atari game come to life and would sing his brains out in the morning. funniest wake up calls ever. roxy was displeased. jim went to live with a little old lady with a whole flock of canaries. we hear he is doing well and wooing his fellow lady birds.

the intruder. i don't waste time getting inside in the dark. no matter where i live. once upon a time at scary mouse & lizard house, i entered & locked the door. the exact moment i locked it, there was a pounding at the door. not like a "hey i'm your friend" pounding, but a very insistent pounding. safety first! i peek thru the blinds to see a large unkempt, unshaven, and unsavory man on the steps. not wanting to immediately be rude, i asked if he needed help. he wanted to come inside. (right.) christie grabbed her dog and ran to the other side of the room. i'm sure she would have saved me from there. :) i informed mr. unsavory that he wouldn't be coming inside. he pounded on the door with more insistence. since i am a nice person, i dialed 911 and yelled, "START RUNNING!" he could move quite fast once he heard the siren. the cops arrived in less than a minute (excellent work, sirs) patrolled ours and the surrounding houses. no dice. the nice officer looked quite concerned… "girls, do you know where you live?"

"well, yes but we…"

"we didn't pick the loca…."

"nothing has hap…."

collective sigh…. "welllllll…."

after a surprisingly detailed description of mr. unsavory (i was quite shocked at what i could recall) the officers left us with a stern warning to be careful. we lock ourselves back into the house, sat on the couch, and stared at each other. after a few minutes, christie pipes up, "how cute was he?!" that's my girl.

The New Home.

i haven't figured it out quite yet, but i think her name is serenity. for several reasons.

1. i yell "serenity now!" several times a day. in my head.

2. nathan fillion will hear about this and want to meet me. (oh captain, my captain!)

3. i can hula-hoop in the front room.

4. violet is pleased with her ability to gallop down the hall, launch into the air outside my door, and still land in the middle of my bed.

5. it's sparse, and i like it.

6. i always wanted a carport.

7. it's a solid, safe house, and i like her.

8. no feral neighbor children or window rattling decibel levels from passing vehicles.

9. amber owns a drill.

10. the great goodwill purge. simplification within serenity.

it's advent season. i leave you with this advent prayer for hope:

Lord Jesus Christ, who is, who was, and who is to come,
we pray for the virtue of hope, that amidst the trials and difficulties of this world,
we may keep our hearts fixed upon you, who reigns over the cosmos.
May your grace enliven us, strengthen us, and defend us,
as we await your coming in glory. Amen.
David Bennett

Nov 14, 2010

the chroni*WHAT*cles of boscobel

my time at the boscobel house draweth to a close.

i'm sad about it, so i will celebrate the good moments.

dogs. melissa convinced me i needed my own dog. we prowled and squealed over countless dogs. roxy appeared less than thrilled. i wanted a huge dog, but was happy to compromise to keep roxy from becoming a snack. along came Violet. a pregnant unwed mother dog from the streets. we drove up to the middle of nowhere to a shelter to introduce "the girls." violet promptly bit roxy as they were discussing who was boss, and i was crestfallen. i thought melissa would lay down the law, but she said we would give it a shot. i signed the papers and suddenly had a dog. in the backseat on the way home, violet kept her paw on my leg as if to say, "don't worry, i got this."

after a few staring contests in the backyard, roxy decided to tolerate her. violet's been trying to get roxy to play with her ever since. so, i thank melissa for rescuing me with a rescue dog who sheds all over her house. I won't mention the birds & squirrels she catches and brings inside to "share."

anti-social. is an indicator of a great friend enjoying being anti-social together? discuss.

melissa can make a killer grilled cheese sandwich and have it in your lap before you knew you wanted it.

the neighbors. i could say a whole lot here, but i'll summarize - when you use your broken down vehicles to store what appears to be total crap, you should probably get rid of it. when you have more cars in front of your house (lawn, sidewalk, whatever) than rooms in the house, you should probably downsize. when you find your neighbors' children on your porch for no reason…. well. i just… nevermind.

the television. Law & Order, LOST, What Not To Wear…. collective swoons over Jim Halpert and John Cusack… i even enjoyed being yelled at for rolling my eyes and making snarky comments while they watched The Bachelor/Bachelorette or whatever Next Model of Something or Other Show. in fact, that was great fun. and then, to cleanse the palate, watching Hoarders to make ourselves feel better about our small-in-comparison collection of hotel soaps and shampoos.

the travelin'. we went to florence, italy, and walked around and ate food for 8 days. "what do you want to do today?" "I dunno, what do YOU want to do today?" it was a relaxing vacation with lots of food, gelato, walking, art, and complete with a cooking class, a mugging and a guardian angel. one time, we also got stuck in the mountains with our friend abby when we couldn't get to our weekend wine & cheese cabin escape.

the decisions. Tuesday Night Bible/Wine/Cheese/Study group. "so, um, girls, i am going to quit my job and go to africa for a couple weeks, can you watch my dog?" turns out it's one of the best decisions i have ever made, with some amazing friends cheering me on.

new roommate! out with the "i don't know what to do this stuff" and in with the new roommate! amber can always be counted on for chocolate and magic smoothies. ps, i am taking her with me!

living together for a long time makes you forget who belongs to what appliance, gadget, DVD, or certain article of clothing you constantly share. if we would have shared shoes there could have been a rumble….

i'll miss my clip-on koala for real.

so... who wants to help amber and I move into our new digs?

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well"." - julian of norwich