also regarding roommates:
i forgot to mention when christie and melissa and i lived together in a scary house with the mouse. the policeman saying, "girls, do you know where you live?!" with great concern was indicative of the neighborhood….
the mouse, episode 1. melissa bought some healthy snacks to take on the road, and had put them on a shelf in the basement. not long afterwards, we found that a mouse had literally eaten its way thru the ENTIRE bag (a big ol' paper grocery bag) and into each box. we hunted for a fat mouse for a while but gave up.
the mouse, episode 2. i was at work and got a hysterical call from christie and could only decipher "mouse" and "washing machine." after resuscitating her over the phone (while completely failing to hide the fact that i was laughing) i hunted for a fat, floating mouse.
arrived home and peeked into the washer to see this pathetic little mouse standing on tip-toes to keep his head above water. scooped him out with a measuring cup and deposited him onto a washcloth - thought i would let him dry before depositing him back into the wild with his critter brethren. the little fella just lay in my hand (on the washcloth, you germophobes) and was shivering, so i tried to dry him off. the minute he tried to sit up, i scrambled outside and put him on the ground. he promptly lay back down and i considered the state of suckerhood i was in. i sat there with him for a bit until he stumbled over and sat on the top of my pink chucks. we stared at one another for a moment and then he scampered off towards where i saw a guy freebasing something in the back alley.
did i really try to dry off a mouse with a washcloth?
the lizard. this is when i was a bad roommate. christie discovered a lizard in her room and alerted me to the crisis. she may or may not have sprinted into the living room and perched atop the couch. i caught it without much incident in a ziplock tub. then i may or may not have chased her around the house with it….
the bird(s). once upon a time there was a birdie i named lloyd dobbler. he was a lovebird with emotional baggage. didn't play well with others. we tried for over a year to make it work, but he was unwilling. he went to be with another girl who was ok with his issues. i hope he's made friends. once upon another time(s) melissa came home with a "can we keep him?" gorgeous red canary. he became jim. jim la fleur for her, jim halpert for me. he sounded like an atari game come to life and would sing his brains out in the morning. funniest wake up calls ever. roxy was displeased. jim went to live with a little old lady with a whole flock of canaries. we hear he is doing well and wooing his fellow lady birds.
the intruder. i don't waste time getting inside in the dark. no matter where i live. once upon a time at scary mouse & lizard house, i entered & locked the door. the exact moment i locked it, there was a pounding at the door. not like a "hey i'm your friend" pounding, but a very insistent pounding. safety first! i peek thru the blinds to see a large unkempt, unshaven, and unsavory man on the steps. not wanting to immediately be rude, i asked if he needed help. he wanted to come inside. (right.) christie grabbed her dog and ran to the other side of the room. i'm sure she would have saved me from there. :) i informed mr. unsavory that he wouldn't be coming inside. he pounded on the door with more insistence. since i am a nice person, i dialed 911 and yelled, "START RUNNING!" he could move quite fast once he heard the siren. the cops arrived in less than a minute (excellent work, sirs) patrolled ours and the surrounding houses. no dice. the nice officer looked quite concerned… "girls, do you know where you live?"
"well, yes but we…"
"we didn't pick the loca…."
"nothing has hap…."
collective sigh…. "welllllll…."
after a surprisingly detailed description of mr. unsavory (i was quite shocked at what i could recall) the officers left us with a stern warning to be careful. we lock ourselves back into the house, sat on the couch, and stared at each other. after a few minutes, christie pipes up, "how cute was he?!" that's my girl.
The New Home.
i haven't figured it out quite yet, but i think her name is serenity. for several reasons.
1. i yell "serenity now!" several times a day. in my head.
2. nathan fillion will hear about this and want to meet me. (oh captain, my captain!)
3. i can hula-hoop in the front room.
4. violet is pleased with her ability to gallop down the hall, launch into the air outside my door, and still land in the middle of my bed.
5. it's sparse, and i like it.
6. i always wanted a carport.
7. it's a solid, safe house, and i like her.
8. no feral neighbor children or window rattling decibel levels from passing vehicles.
9. amber owns a drill.
10. the great goodwill purge. simplification within serenity.
it's advent season. i leave you with this advent prayer for hope:
Lord Jesus Christ, who is, who was, and who is to come,
we pray for the virtue of hope, that amidst the trials and difficulties of this world,
we may keep our hearts fixed upon you, who reigns over the cosmos.
May your grace enliven us, strengthen us, and defend us,
as we await your coming in glory. Amen.
David Bennett
